Rose Weasley's Guide to Annoying Jerks
by NoBodyOfInterest
Summary: Rose Weasley writes a guide during what is probably the most boring History of Magic class yet but how could the rest of this class unfold and could she find a new way to deal with her own annoying jerk


**Well I actually started this ages ago (no like February last year ages) but I have finally got round to finishing it so here it is.**

**I don't own Harry Potter *sigh***

Well it's another boring History of Magic lesson and I am sitting here wondering what to do then a thought comes to me a few days ago I was looking through a bin (long story involving a Potions essay a spell gone wrong and several Nifflers) and happened to find a bunch of guides, rules and things like that obviously written by students scrunched up at the bottom of it. So that is what I shall do I shall write a guide but to what...

Sorry about that a certain son of a ferret whom I shall not mention by name *cough* Scorpius *cough* decided it would be so hilarious to use the Banishing Charm to make pieces of parchment , quills ,empty ink wells etc fly towards me. That guy is such a jerk. Hey that's it that's what I'll write my guide about.

**Rose Weasleys Guide to Annoying Jerks**

**Hex them where it hurts.**

_Now I know this might seem obvious as we're wizards_

_but you will be surprise how much a well placed curse can hurt_

_and how often people don't use them._

_my personal favourites are the Bat Bogey Hex and the Jelly Legs Jinx_

2.**Punch that smirk off their smug faces**

_Now I know I just said to hex them but really in certain situations this can work even better especially if you catch them off guard. I have only ever done this once in my third year (oh I hope no teacher finds this) I generally wouldn't do anything like it but it's become sort of a thing in my family a new tradition you might say 'thou must hit a Malfoy in third year.' _**(AN That little line is taken from dork-with-glasses story Weasleys and Malfoys Just Don't Mix but it is too good not to use) **

3. **Tell a teacher**

_Now this might seem somewhat cowardly and like you are trying to chicken out but in all honesty if they have done something very wrong seriously harmed you or said something particularly cruel it would really be best to tell a teacher. Also it stops them right in their tracks, puts them out of action for a while so although at the beginning it might seem a tad cowardly it really pays off both in the short and long term._

4. **Scream in their face**

_Now this is the last and by far the most important thing you can do to get at said annoying jerk. Now I'm not saying to just scream I mean scream insults, shriek abuse and yell sarcastic comments right at them. So of course your material is very important as well for example things such as 'you suck', 'shut up' and 'I know you are but what am I' may have been your best insults when you were seven but when face to face with this kind of person they simply will not do .Each insult must be tailor made for that person and not just a general insult, you can aim these insults at their appearance, family, intelligence and everyone's favourite insult type house._

_Another thing that is quite good to remember is to make sure that your insults aren't left wide open for comebacks._

I lifted my quill off the paper feeling particularly pleased with myself. I looked up at the clock and noticed there were still twenty minutes or so left in class I let out a small groan as I leaned back in my chair.

Suddenly a sharp quill point hit the back of my head so I whipped my head around to see Scorpius Malfoy sitting four desks behind me I quickly glared at him and turned my head back round to the front trying in vain to listen to Binns drone on and on about something or another.

Then two quills hit me in the back I breathed in trying to resist the temptation to glare at Malfoy again so I kept pretending to listen to Binns. All throughout the rest of the lesson my head and back got bombarded with assorted objects (I'm guessing Malfoy had run out of quills).

When there was only two minutes to go I finally cracked I stood up and whipped my head around and shouted across the room to where the ferret boy was sitting "WILL YOU STOP IT!"

To my surprise Malfoy stood up too "what do you mean will I stop, you're the one who's been throwing quills at me almost all lesson!"

Now I was getting really riled up Malfoy was accusing me of what he had been doing "I DON'T KNOW WHAT ON EARTH YOU ARE ON ABOUT I HAVE BEEN SITTING HERE ALL LESSON GETTING ATTACKED BY THINGS YOU TRIED TO HIT ME WITH!"

He began to walk across the room towards me his voice rising in anger with each step he took "you've been doing anything but I have quills have been attacking me for the last twenty minutes Weasel so don't you DARE TRY TO ACCUSE ME OF ANYTHING!"

I was shocked I mean yes me and Malfoy had screaming matches before in fact more than I could count but one thing we never did was deny what we had said or done to each other because of our rivalry but I wasn't about to back down now "WELL THEN WHO DID YOU ARROGANT FERRET."

He took another step towards me so we were now both standing in the middle of the classroom screaming into each other's faces with everyone's eyes on us " I COULD ASK YOU THE SAME QUESTION BECAUSE IN CASE YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED NO ONE ELSE IN THIS CLASS SEEMS TO HAVE ANY PROBLEM WITH ME!"

"WELL THEY SHOULD, YOU ARE ARROGANT, OBNOXIOUS AND ABOVE ALL ELSE..." Scorpius Malfoy never did find out what he was above all else because just then he did something even more unexpected then anything he had done so far.

He kissed me.

We broke apart and he looked at me and smirked "So Weasel would you like to go to Hogsmeade next weekend with me."

I smirked back at him "You're on Ferret."

We then heard a small cough during the screaming no one had noticed that for the first time in history Professor Binns had noticed that his class were paying him no attention "You had all better go to your next class."

Both me and Ma-Scorpius turn bright red and nodded as we and the rest of the class began to pack up their bags. Then Scorpius turned to me and smiled "Well that is certainly one way to make History of Magic interesting.

...

At the very back of the room something was happening that no one else noticed lest of all Scorpius Malfoy and Rose Weasley.

One Frank Longbottom (the second) was passing three Galleons to none other then...

"I told you I could get them together by the end of the class"

"Yeah Al I know that's why I'm giving you my money, I mean yes everyone knew they were going to get together in the end but really we all expected them to keep avoiding the fact that they like each other for at least a few more months some people were even betting it would take till next year."

"Yeah but I am just pretty good at getting people together then aren't I."

"Sure AL if you are so good what are you going to do about you and..."

"SHUT UP!"

"But seriously you got them together with quills and a banishing charm."

"Yeah well if only it was that easy with everyone."

**The end of that actually wasn't originally going to be there it was just going to be a guide and nothing else but what can I say I love the idea of Rose and Scorpius so I will probably write about it in the future as well.**

**One final note please review this story and my other ones and please vote on the poll on my profile okay thanks.**

**BYE BYE BYE**


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